Today at church, in recognition of Mother's Day, during the time that our pastor usually has us turn to greet each other, he asked us to do as we normally would when we greet one another but to add...in 60 seconds or less...the most important thing that our mothers have taught us. In essence, he explained, he wanted us to introduce ourselves to our neighbors..."Good morning. I'm Kristen."...and add..."My mom taught me ".
Ack! Anyone who knows me, knows this about me: I cannot say anything in 60 seconds or less. Besides, how is a woman like me, who has been blessed by a mother like mine, supposed to pick only one important characteristic given me by her? That's like placing a child in the middle of Toys R Use and saying..."You've got one minute to choose any toy you'd like. Go." And you end up with nothing because that minute is wasted as you stand there stuttering, while all the millions of possibilities flash through your brain.
So, you know what I said as I shook the hand of the gentleman seated behind me? I said, "Hi. My name is Kristen. That's my mom right there." And I pointed to my mom standing next to me. Yep. That's what I said. And, then I quickly dropped his hand and pretended to be engrossed in the button on my daughter's dress until greeting time was over.
It's funny. Because the same people who would tell you that I don't know how to tell a quick story, would also, I think, tell you that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am an extremely emotional person. Somet people think that's a hinderance. But, I think it's a blessing. I feel, deeply, other people's pain and suffering and sometimes I take it as my own. I am compassionate and sympathetic, devoted and dedicated, faithful and true, not only to those whom I love and who love me but to those who I only know a little bit...or sometimes...not at all.
But what makes that funny is that as naturally as it comes to me to help an elderly woman to the car with her groceries or as easy as it is for me to buy a stranger lunch, it's sometimes difficult for me to verbalize to those that are closest to me how much I care. Invariably, I end up writing it rather than saying it. Just as I'm doing today.
I've often wondered why it's sometimes easier for me to cry for a stranger than it is to wrap my arms around my own mother, or tell my brother how much I love him, or my sister how beautiful she is or my children how incredibly sacred they are to me. I feel it, and I can bring the words from my heart to my paper but I just can't get them to go from my heart to my mouth and then into the ears of those I love.
So, in honor of Mother's Day 2008, I'm going to tell you about my mom, but there's no way I could do it in 60 seconds or less. She's too much woman, too much hero, too much friend for only 60 seconds.
This is my mom....
But, what she gave me turned out to be so much more than a good hairstyle or a homemade pie or darned socks. What I learned from her went well beyond sparkling white clothes and I might not be able to do a back-spring or tap dance, but I can do a cartwheel and I can rock with it when I really want to.
My mom taught me that there are only two types of people in this world. Good and bad. And better still, that even the bad people are worthy of love. She taught me that I am the best but that I am not better than anyone...that there is something to be learned from every person that crosses your path...so I'd be better served to pay attention and take note because it might not be the educated, wealthy neighbor who shares the most gratifying lesson, but the poor, homeless man on the street. She taught me that it takes a village to raise a child and that we all should share responsibility for each other and that anything that can be done alone is done better when it's done together. She taught me the importance of family and the freedom of forgiveness. She showed me how to love when it was easier to hate. She taught me that respect is earned, not demanded and that sometimes being happy is way more important than being right.
When I was little, she loved me, cared for me and taught me who to be. She caught me when I fell, kissed me when I hurt, encouraged me when I stumbled and showed pride in me...even when I failed. Now that I'm grown, she's still supports me when I need it, yet allows me the
freedom and opportunity to live my life as I choose and when I make mistakes, she corrects and then moves on, she never wallows in them. She is my best friend, my confidant and the one person in all my life who truly loves unconditionally. Without expectation. And sometimes with little reward.
She is the woman who made me who I am today. And who I am is compassionate and sympathetic, devoted and dedicated, faithful and true, loving and honest. I am a good wife, a good friend and a good mother. I am her. And I owe it all to her. I hope I've made her as proud as she's made me.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
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